The cancer of the Internet

Weeaboos

I got a joke for you weeaboos go to japan and are like where a subtitles. 

I think its time to talk about an issue that affects everybody on a global scale. Weeaboos For those of you uneducated kids who don't know what a weeaboo is "A non Japanese person who basically denounces their own culture. Then they try to learn Japanese through the anime and end up pronouncing it wrong and sounding like a complete idiot. 

Keep in Mind: A Non Japanese person can like the culture, speak the language, and respect the culture while still keeping in touch with their own. This prevents them from being a weeaboo" Urban Dictionary definition

Swoll Weeb

Weeaboos basically disrespect the culture and make complete asses of themselves. Even if you didn't know the definition you have definitely seen these guys around. They might be in you local comic book store, your moms attic, side of the road, they smell bad, their disgusting. There is a difference between people who enjoy the culture and people that are full on disgusting unhygienic weeaboos. If you just like watching those Japanese cartoons and your an alright person I don't give a shit, and if you like to watch a little hentai that not even my problem. I mean I can relate to a few of you guys. My favorite anime's are Toy story 2, Sweet life of Zach and Cody, Direct Tv remote guides, Seinfeld. We all like the same shit I get it. I mean Im an anime fan as well clearly. 

You have a real problem when you have a comic book collection and are trying to learn Japanese on rosetta stone and you having sex with you waifu body pillow so that it stands on its own now. You yell at people for talking shit on anime it has really good shows. You really want to go to japan, you learn how to use chopsticks and you go to japan thinking that no one there is on your anime expertise level. The first step weeaboos need to do is to get a job and move out of their disappointed parents basements. 

I get that some weeaboos collect weapons and stuff. That is already kind of red flagish in the first place. If your wasting money on like Japanese weapons that you cant even use thats actually like a problem and you should notify your school. Just because you try and act and dress like a certain ethnic group doesn't mean your that ethnic group. 

Feel the bern

Dear Bernie Sanders,

You are going to read this blog and discover that you are not going to be president. One of the best things about you running for president is that we can all play wheres Bernie. You have effectively become the new wheres waldo. Im pretty sure that I saw you in a picture with Martin Luther King. Another thing is your hair. Is it like the messier your hair gets the the more  powerful you become? I mean how does your hair even defy gravity like that are you a mad scientist or something? Do Donald's hair and your hair fly off into the sunset together or is it just more of a playdate then you pick them up and say something even stupider than before.

                                                                knowyourmeme.com

Bernie sanders hair literally looks like the doc from back to the future 2 decided to finally settle down and stay in 2015. Bernie sanders is trying to make everything free. Examples: Want to go to college? FREE Want a bachelors degree? Free Want anything ever well guess what ITS FREE. Bernie being the third socialist president ever is trying to create a socialist america. If you don’t know what socialism is Il try to explain. Basically if you get a 100% on the hardest test of your life spent all year studying and someone else spend 2 hours studying and gets a 50% well what happens? You both get a good ole C yup the test you spent hours studying for is not going to do nothing for you. Wheres the motivation to do anything now? You make 1 million dollars someone else makes 100 you both get 500,000. Why would anyone work if they knew they could do nothing and get something or why would they work if they know that they would get half and the person that does nothing gets something. Now Bernie I know your really trying and I thank you for your service in the civil war but its time to stop. Your not going to win this election. You can go feel the bern in a home but it wont be in the white house. Bern the only thing that your going to burn is the economy I mean really. Also you never show how you would be any different than any other presidents, how you would change anything. 

Meme making PT.3

Instagram

After launching the app, click on the Instagram camera icon. To start shooting your short video, click on the video icon. You will have a total of 15 seconds to use, so use it wisely. Keep the record button (red video icon) pressed and let it go when you want to move on to your next scene.

If you’re unsatisfied with a clip, click on the X icon to delete. Note that you can only delete and replace the most recent clip in the queue, so try not to move on to the next scene if you’re not 100 percent sure you’re content with your clip.

Keep clicking next until your video shows up on your Instagram feed. That’s when you know that yes, your Instagram video meme is up and running!

Vine

Vine is similar to Instagram video in terms of steps so we’ll forgo the screenshots. After logging in and launching the app, click on the video icon on the top-right corner of the screen. To start recording, keep your finger on the screen (on top of your face, yes) and let go when you want to record a different clip. If you want your clips to have continuity and better transitioning, you can turn on the ghost option so a phantom of your last frame appears, giving you an idea of where things should be on your next clip.

Vine is pretty straightforward – there’s no real editing involved and clips are pretty short. You, may however, convert your Vine clip into a GIF, making it an even more interesting meme!

YouTube

You can easily create a video meme by recording yourself on YouTube via webcam. When you’re logged into YouTube with your Google account, click on Upload on the top of the screen. On the page where you normally select files to upload to your YouTube channel, click on Webcam capture instead.

how to meme - youtube webcam capture

When you get to the next screen, you may need to allow your computer permission to enable to camera and mic. After you do that, click on start recording to begin your video. When you’re done, click on stop recording.

how to meme - youtube start recording

Note that this only works for continuous shooting, so be sure you’re all warmed up acting-wise before actually recording. If you messed up in the middle, your only available move is to start over. Once you’re satisfied with your video, you can hit upload.

The webcam option is very useful if you’re the thinking of posting a cover performance of your favorite song, or if you’re planning to do a tutorial video. As an example, here’s a YouTube tutorial video that has the makings of a meme. Obviously, don’t try this at home:

Step 5: Launch it!

Of course, for a meme to be  a meme, you need to get it lots of online exposure. Tweet it, post it on your Facebook or personal websites, share on on Reddit, email it to your family and friends. Happy meme-making!

  

Meme making PT.2

Step 4: Create it

Once you have your photo (whether you took it, copy and pasted it, or found it somewhere online), you can use any of the programs below.

When you get to the meme generator, click on “upload new background” and use one of the four options provided.

Wait for your photo to upload.

Once your photo is ready, it will appear on Imgur’s editing page, where you can type in the text that will go on your image. You can do all sorts of things like move the text around or resize it. You can also opt to submit it to Imgur’s public memes gallery. Be sure to name your meme before clicking on “make this meme!”

Your next page gives you a whole bunch of options on what to do with the meme you just created. If you want to keep it for later, just right click on the image and save it on your computer. You can also take note of the link so you can share it later on. If you do not want to save the image on Imgur, take note of the deletion link because it will only appear once. Otherwise, you can add it to your Imgur account (and you can create one if you’d like).

Congrats, you’ve just made a meme through Imgur!

kindle meme

Aviary (iOS, Android)

After launching the app, choose either Camera to shoot a new photo or Gallery to choose an already existing one.

Scroll through the available tools and click on Meme.

Type in the text you want to appear on your image. Click apply. Then click Done.

At this point, you already have a photo meme, but since Aviary is a photo editing app, you can check out other tools available to enhance your pic (effects, stickers, etc) but really … you don’t have to. You will find your finished product saved in the Aviary folder in your phone’s Gallery.

Open your image by clicking on File > Open then finding your image in its rightful folder or by dragging your image file into Photoshop.

To add text, click on the Type Tool icon (symbolized by the letter T). Choose Impact as a font and make sure you type in all caps. Fiddle with the font size until it is proportional to the image. Choose white for font color.

meme how to - photoshop add text

On the right side where it says Layers, right click on the layer containing your text and click on Blending Options. Choose Stroke. Change the color to black. Keep the size at 3px.

meme how to - photoshop blending options

To save your photo meme without replacing the original photo, click on File > Save As. Choose JPEG as format. Keep the quality at maximum and hit OK.

You’ve just made a meme using Photoshop, yay!

Thanks for Tyrone

What if you’re making a video meme? Read on.

How to make a meme PT.1

It is the job of every meme master  to know what a meme is – in the simplest terms, it is a popular and usually funny idea or concept that has been passed on from person to person on the Web usually with a lots visual element and focus. It comes in various forms, most commonly through photos with funny text.

So what if you want to not only consume but contribute to the Internet’s collection? There are websites you can use to easily create memes generated from already existing ones. All you need to do is to choose a meme template, type in your desired text and voilà – you’ve got a meme you can post and share. However, if you would like to take on the challenge to create your own meme from scratch, it’s actually fairly easy.

Step 1: Do your research

Know your memes. It’s good practice to take a look at pre-existing memes that have achieved viral status. That way you can either find one to use as inspiration or you can rule out the topics you don’t want to replicate.

Now that you know that Boromir from The Lord of The Rings has a quotable quote, you may want to use a favorite classic film and use a distinct and popular catchphrase from it.

"One does not simply walk into mordor."

Keep a watchful eye on trends. Regularly check your Twitter or Facebook feeds for relevant news – entertainment topics are usually a win. Take note of what makes you laugh the most and what gets the most hilarious responses.

Choose a subject you can relate to. If you’re not a sports fan, you might have a hard time selling a sports-themed meme. Cute animals are always a great go-to when you are tapped out of ideas, but if you really want to push the envelope, choose a public figure you can easily imitate. If you’d like to use a personal experience as the center of your meme, choose one that’s easily relatable.

Decide on a medium. Of course the easiest medium to use is photo, but if you’ve got a knack for improve and being funny on camera, you might want to venture into video.

Step 2: Compose your content

Collect your materials. Before going any further, this is the point where you decide if you’re going to come up with your own stuff or recycle things you’ve found online. If you’re doing a photo meme and you want to use existing content, do the appropriate copying and pasting from videos you want to use; you can also use the Web for images you’d like to use as pegs, or hit up Imgur’s meme-maker.

Keep it short and simple. Bear in mind that the attention span of the average Internet user is pretty short, so you want to make an impression right off the bat. Come up with a catchphrase that uses simple and memorable language.

Find the right expression to convey. Make sure your visuals match the idea you’re trying to portray.

Step 3: Have the necessary tools

If you’re doing a photo meme, it might be wise to have Photoshop installed (or use Pixlr Editor, a free online image editor that has similar controls and functions) . You can also look up meme generator sites like Imgur that let you upload your own photo background. Lastly, you can install photo apps on your phone that allow you to add text to your images, like Aviary (we’ll talk about both of these shortly).

If you’re doing a video meme, the easiest apps and sites to use are Instagram, Vine, and YouTube.

The history of Memes

A brief history in Dank Memes

Origin

The exact origin of the phrase “dank memes” is unknown. Many have speculated that it was coined on the /s4s/  board on 4chan, /r/2007scape on Reddit or within the montage parody community on YouTube.

Spread

On May 26th, 2013, YouTuber fennthulhu uploaded a parody video titled “How 2 make dank memes!”, in which he demonstrates how to create an “edgy” Success Kid image on the website Quickmeme. On December 20th, YouTuber Ethan Holey uploaded a video in which he recommends using “dank memes” as a replacement for the terms “awesome,” “cool” or “bodacious”.

On September 23rd, 2014, Redditor xEphr0m submitted a image to /r/funny, which featured a gnome child seated at a computer with the caption “born just in time to browse dank memes”. On September 30th, Redditor 369DAMNyoFINE posted an image of a young child dressed as a police officer writing a ticket for posting a meme that “wasn’t dank enough” to the /r/4ChanMetal subreddit.

On October 24th, 2014, YouTuber Juston Bibero posted a montage parody video titled “9gagger can’t handle the dank memes,” which gathered upwards of 52,000 views and 150 comments in the first two months. On December 4th, Redditor Thejacobplumb submitted a post titled “What are ‘dank memes’?” to the /r/OutOfTheLoop subreddit. 

The origin of super dank memes originated some say that they originated of 4chan or reddit but some conspiracies show that the illuminati is actually behind the creation of dank memes in order to spread their influence into the younger population. As you can see the illuminati is everywhere for example

Blogspot

Blogspot has 8 letters

8 divided by 2 is 4 

4 is the number of years between leap years

leap years occur on February 29

29 divided by 3 is 9.666

remove the 9 and you get 666

666 is the devils number

the illuminati is considered a devils advocate

Blogspot = Illuminati confirmed

But wait did you notice that??

Blogspot has the world Log in it

Logs are made of wood

wood grows on trees

trees make paper

paper make signs

signs make the illuminati sign

Blogspot = Illuminati Confirmed again

Now that you know that the illuminati is everywhere it is crucial that you that you accept this detail. This is not a conspiracy this is real life. Tell no body but the illuminati is everywhere take this info and don't tell anyone.  Prepare yourself save yourself they are here.

All of this is totally legit

How to meme

There is an art to creating the dankest memes around. I am the master of crafting beautiful amazing perfect memes.  Memes are all over the interwebs and it is crucial that yall know how to use them and when and how to use them. This means you facebook moms who still think that it acceptable to use  minions as memes.

The 10 Commandments of Memes

Thou shall never ever use a dank meme without stating that the meme is dank

Thou shall never try to make un dank memes dank

Thou shall only use dank memes when dank memes are needed

Thou shall only use the dankest memes at the dankest time

The dankest memes shall receive the praise and love of all around

Thou shall not allow your memes to stay dreams

Thou shall not repost the memes

Thou shall probably do something

Thou shall not run out of ideas

Thou shall just do it

Just Do It

A wise message from the shia pepe

Do it, just do it! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday you said tomorrow. So just do it! Make your dreams come true. Just do it. Some people dream of success, while you’re going to wake up and work hard at it. Nothing is impossible… you should get to the point where anyone else would quit and you’re not going to stop there. NO! What are you waiting for?! DO IT! JUST DO IT! YES YOU CAN! JUST DO IT! If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.

I feel like there is something here to be learned from shia like don't let your career go from transformers to this. Or never ever put anything with you being serious on the internet because I mean really who is still serious on the internet I mean come on. I mean the internet is good for a few things and a few things only. Like looking up the answers on a test, or looking at the dankest memes and making your right arm really strong.

Yall know what I mean don't act like you don't.

Every few days until halloween I will be putting parts of a spooki story

Spooky story for halloween part 1

looks like this recorder still works.

As long as it's still recording, I suppose I must say something

How long has it been since I last used this thing?

It's been at least a decade almost two?

Those were better times for me. I was so young back then. 

My future seemed so bright so full of promise.

I remember following my dreams. I remember a promising career. I remember being happy.

If I could turn back time what would I do differently?

I know. I know exactly what I should have done.

I shouldn't have gotten involved in that case with that girl.

Pursuing her was the right thing to do but if I hadn't involved myself with her, I'd still have a career.

When did it begin? I think it was April of 1989.

The peak of my career as an investigative journalist.

That's when I heard about a murder at the local high school. 

The police had no leads, no evidence, nothing.

I decided to investigate it myself. I tried to be a hero

and that was the worst mistake of my life.